When it happens, everything stops. The normal pace of life which propels us forward is suddenly suspended. We celebrate its beauty and fear its impact. We yearn for more, yet complain when we get too much. Children love it much more than adults. What is this strange thing which causes such a mix of emotions?
As I donned my North Face, wool socks and insulated long coat, I kept thinking that I should just stay in and use the treadmill. That would be the easy thing to do. But as a recovering recent back surgery patient (2x over), I know the healing value of my daily powerwalk, so I ventured out into the snowy tundra of Holliston MA during our third snowfall in 3 days.
Once I settled into the rhythm of a comfortable stride, I allowed myself to just be. It has been a rather sad week with the 5 month anniversary of mom’s passing, and I was finally able to breathe in the midst of the clean, crisp air. It was eerily quiet in my neighborhood which is usually filled with children of all ages. I welcomed the solitude and just listened to the sounds of my footsteps on the frozen ground. It was as if time had stopped and the falling snow had afforded me this chance to be alone with God and thoughts of my beautiful mom.
With each falling snowflake I envisioned her beloved face and memories of wonderful, happy times spent together. Despite the cold outside, I could feel the warmth of her presence in the beauty of the snowfall. Had she been with me (as she had been on many neighborhood walks) she would have wrapped her arm in mine and we would have walked contentedly together. I imagined her there – and for a moment, even felt her embrace. I guess that’s how it is when you adore someone so deeply who is no longer with you – God gives you quiet moments to be with them…alone.
As I made my way back toward home, I caught sight of my son and his friends building a snow fort and shoveling the elderly neighbor’s driveway. Nona would have been happy to see this. She always said that Andrew had a warm heart. My son is blessed to have Nona’s beautiful heart – which is filled with love, tenderness and thoughts of others in need. She lives on…in him and all her beautiful grandchildren.
So perhaps a bit of snow is not so bad every now and then. It slows us down and allows us a moment to listen to the deepest part of our soul- the place where only God lives. When we do this, goodness and love follow. I wonder if it is snowing in heaven tonight? Maybe…mom will let me know.
