Yes, You Can

It took about twenty minutes before I realized that she didn’t speak fluent English. She was kind, hiding a huge smile beneath her protective mask. As she skillfully removed my super long nail tips, I learned that she was a mom of two from Ecuador happy to be working in America. She was patient when I attempted to converse using my pathetic high school level Spanish, uttering words like “muy bonita.” I could tell that she was a tough woman.

I have come to believe that women are, by nature, incredibly strong human beings. I’ve been privileged to watch some women in my family defy the odds in challenging life situations. Each case is a bit different but the results have been the same – success. Sheer perseverance in the face of extremely difficult circumstances has led to this success. Not success in the way the world defines, rather a level of attainment not easily achieved and bordering on the miraculous. I would certainly put my mom living peacefully and with great intention for three years, after being diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer in this category and there are other extraordinary women who are part of this prestigious group of warriors. “What do they all have in common, you might wonder?” A belief in something much greater than themselves and the courage to reach out and grab it, despite their current suffering. I call it faith, though others might name it something else. Either way, their belief in the God of love allowed them to turn an otherwise desperate situation into one of hope.

These women have served as an inspiration in my life, and especially during my years living with chronic pain. Their example has propelled me forward when overwhelming pain seemed to cloud everything around me. So when I began planning my daughter’s wedding day, their example of strength and perseverance gave me courage. Like them, I prayed and my prayer went something like this, “God please please take away my pain on the wedding day or give me the grace to bear it well.” Looking back two weeks ago to the most wonderful wedding day imaginable, what I remember most is that God was with me. He walked with me and granted me the grace to handle the pain with dignity. Throughout the day, there were moments when the pain caused my eyes to tear but it was in that space when I could truly give God the glory and thank him for the many other gifts in my life. It was like an out of body experience as I looked up and saw my beautiful husband, my children, the glow in my daughter’s eyes as she danced with her handsome groom, the joy on my friends faces, even the beautiful colors of the table and cake flowers. Without this real experience of pain, perhaps I might take some of these incredible blessings for granted – and I never want to do that. “Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4)

I’ve come to discover that the single greatest gift which I can give myself each day is prayer, no matter how I feel. In fact, praying when I am in pain often leads to a richer prayer experience because I am totally dependent on God for everything in that moment. Through my pain, I have learned that with God in my life, I can handle just about anything – yes, I can. The women in my life who have suffered greatly have also demonstrated this truth. As far as I could tell, the woman from Ecuador who I met at the nail salon has also lived this truth and is sharing it generously with others through her everyday work. How about you? Yes, you can.