Freedom to Love

Watching an English period drama from the 1950’s has become a favorite pastime after a long day. I usually tell myself that I’ll watch only one episode, but undoubtedly it turns into two or more as I enjoy the warmth of my heating pad on my sore back. This past week I saw an episode that really struck me. I watched in horror as a woman, pregnant out of wedlock, became the victim of harsh judgment from everyone in her world, including the nun/midwife who was supposed to look after her health. In this episode, based on the best-selling memoirs of Jennifer Worth, this woman lost her teaching job, her home and ultimately her health. When the show ended, I couldn’t help but think about the people today, almost 75 years after the timeframe of this show, who still suffer similar abuse.

It makes me angry to ponder the many folks who still experience this preventable injustice. This show reminded me that we can and must do better as a society – all people, including me. If we are honest, judgmental thoughts and actions do become part of our daily lives with little effort. Perhaps not in big ways but an abundance of little ways can become just as toxic. And when we are being unkind in our minds, there is literally no peace in our hearts. But, there is a better way to live. In chapter 7 of Matthew’s gospel, Jesus tells us, “Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.” It sounds simple so I wonder why we make it so hard?

I think the answer lies in our humanity. We are not God and thus are subject to the same worldly struggles as all human people. We must remember though, that the awesome gift of free will from the Divine affords us the opportunity to choose love over evil. With God’s grace, choosing love can become a conscious choice and a daily priority. When we lose our way, as we sometimes do, and have unkind thoughts or words, we must get back up, begging God for his strength to love again. Like all good virtues, loving unconditionally must be practiced regularly in order to become a successful habit. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34)

At a recent prison ministry meeting, one of the incarcerated women commented on her love for the volunteers’ attendance each week. She said, “I love seeing you all each week, I look forward to our meetings. It’s nice to feel loved and accepted as I am – right in this place.” Her comments really affected me. As a fellow human being I could literally see the transformation that love was making in her life. It’s so simple – use our freedom to choose love rather than judgment.

Saint Mother Teresa famously said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” With all the suffering in today’s world, Mother’s words are more important today than ever before. Like my beautiful, late mother Joan used to say, “I choose love.” May God help me to do so.